Tears are the silent language of grief. -Voltaire
And since tears are soap for the soul, cleansing and healing those wounds from grief, it would seem Mr. Voltaire was onto something.
Far too many people struggle with tremendous grief and when you are the one walking through it, there can be a palpable loneliness. As I process my own grief these days, and in the coming weeks and months of what widowhood looks like, I'd love to share with you all I use in the realm of essential oils to assist that journey.
Loss of any kind necessitates the acknowledgement of the grief at hand. This information is not only to those who have experienced the death of a loved one, but for those who have lost anything, at any time. I find in our world today, many are grieving. Grieving what was, what could have been, what they hoped would be but is not.
There are those who have lost jobs, positions, and sadly, friendships. This requires a time of grieving.
If you've followed this blog for any length of time you are keenly aware that I share essential oils are the key to healing anything mental and emotional. First of all, it's biblical, since there are over 600 mentions of oils and their plants of origin in the scriptures. The Word mentions using these in various ways, much of what we see is using them in the presence of God. Seems that in times of deep grief, this would be a wise place to rest and be.
If you are new to oils, or a veteran user, the process of how to with emotions can become quite daunting. In fact, many simply go back to their Peace and Calming or Stress Away, unwilling to proceed with any heavy hitters for concern they'd unleash Pandora's box.
The process of emotional release using essential oils should not be dramatic, but more gentle, occurring step by step over a period of time. Application of the oils accompanied by mental focus and relaxation should occur multiple times per day. Some emotional blocks will require only a day or two to begin releasing, while others may require weeks. Each and every process is normal.
Many essential oils blends have been created precisely for the purpose of helping to release emotional patterns. The protocols shared in this group are designed to be used with the utmost flexibility.
It is important to remember that the process should not be uncomfortable. If you reach a step and you begin to feel more anxious, recognize the need to pause and step back. Best practice is to wait until the emotions flow with ease.
There are a few first responders in the realm of grief support.
Vetiver- relaxer stimulant and sedative. When the thoughts swirl and spin in your mind, Vetiver calms & soothes, quieting all the chatter.
Bergamot- literally THE GRIEF oil. It’s uplifting and acts as an antidepressant. All citrus really- you know that feeling when you slice open any citrus fruit. Bergamot especially uplifts the mood in order to make each day possible.
Sacred Frankincense- this one increase our spiritual awareness, the very thing we need when we experience loss. Belief in God is the one constant which will give us strength to move forward.
Consider having this mixed without a carrier to drop in your diffuser for a beautiful night’s sleep.
Once you have had a few days to process and wrap your mind around grief, there are next steps. Forgiveness to be specific. Forgiveness essential oil blend and Trauma Life are always at the ready in my household. In the matter of grief, these are exceptional first choices. Our family has been through quite a few seasons of grief, some deep, some easier to recover from. Yet all have one thing in common- each season there was a need to forgive and a need to acknowledge the trauma we/I was experiencing. Even now, my babies do not think they have experienced trauma having had their dad die, yet I know as an emotion coach, their bodies have experienced it. I can see classic signs of more than normal frustrations with one another, extra tears over melted water bottles left in the dishwasher and an impatience. The subconscious mind aka the limbic system receives information and deals with it accordingly, we do not allows have the wherewithal to even notice what is happening. So we apply Trauma Life in the morning at breakfast and before bed. Forgiveness may be a little more unusual to discuss in terms of grief. In the case of death of a loved one, of course there is a need for forgiveness. One might feel anger or resentment for being left behind, or perhaps for not having done x,y ,or z in regard to health or otherwise. Nearly always when I coach those going through grief, there is a time for forgiveness of self. And likely, a person may not even realize there is a need for forgiveness, yet if we intentionally apply this oil over the liver, and say out loud, "I choose to forgive", then forgiveness flows from your belly. You might even pray, "God show me if I am holding onto any unforgiveness."
In the matter of looking over the past 20 months, Forgiveness and an acknowledging of Trauma is truly in order. At various times there has been an anger that has risen in each of us, the question is- have you dealt with the trauma of 2020? It was/is a rough path we all have walked. Have you forgiven those who have said things that angered you? Are you still angry? Please choose forgiveness, it sets you free and heals your body.
Before the Feelings collection, before you don the Freedom Release bundle (as in, LONG before that one), these are your first responders when grief comes.
One last thing on a gentle giant, also known as Sacred Frankincense. As mentioned above, it is excellent for grief. Yet let's take a closer look before I let you go. When I researched essential oils 11 years ago, my fingers were frankly looking up cancer protocols, healings etc.
Nowadays my bent is vastly different. To be fair, my bent had taken a hard turn five years ago when I discovered that every sickness, (yes, every single one) is rooted in repressed emotions. Being someone who loathes illness of any kind, and who believes this side of heaven we ought to walk in perfect health, I now am a voracious advocate for dealing with emotions before attending to the physical aspect. Or at minimum, simultaneously.
I know. I know what you're thinking... My husband did just pass away from an extremely aggressive cancer. Why do you think I'm more relentless than ever about sharing ways to heal your emotions?
Using an oil such as Sacred Frankincense is a sweet place to begin, proceed and end with in emotional healing. Particularly in times of grief. Use this before prayer as many times we try to stiff arm our God, not allowing Him to speak and heal our wounds. It also clears away the clutter and noise so that we can see the preverbal forest.
Breath it in each morning and every night to center and ground your emotions.
If you have yet to immerse yourself fully into the world of essential oils, now is a great time to begin. Choosing to start with the intention of releasing unwanted emotions is also an excellent choice.